At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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