I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
