She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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