Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
