mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
