she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
