if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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