bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
