i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
