I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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