Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
