Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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