i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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