I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
