DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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