I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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