Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
