Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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