I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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