Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ketchup is God's man juice
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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