she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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