all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
