well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
