Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
