I wanna passion pit in your ass
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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