that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
