Will you blow on my dice?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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