Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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