oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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