Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
