508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
