not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
