If that was your dad, he is hot
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
