I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
