Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize