You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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