Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
