idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
