He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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