Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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