it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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