I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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