i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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