been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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