Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
