the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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