Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
