A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
