Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Randomize
