I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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