u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We talked him into tasing himself.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
