he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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