the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
