OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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