I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
