i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The air was thick with penises
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
