K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
