It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
