sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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